Are my children also called to this? As a mama missionary, I wonder about our fitness for the task when our family of eight clogs airport security and labors in language study and ministry like a well-meaning circus. Will my kids catch a deadly virus from the airport carpet? Will beans be lunch every day? How can we possibly replace years spent with grandparents and a vibrant children’s church? Will they become healthy adults when this calling cuts not only us but them?
Are the unreached regions of the Joshua Project map reserved for singles? Our family’s plane-ticket prices alone might argue that case. Does the church only send the strong? In the world’s economy, our crew is inefficient and slow to get the job done.
Risk Worth Reward
The missionary call may cost our precious children extra bouts of food poisoning, power outages, awkward cultural moments, and loneliness. It may even, like Perpetua Broten and Ezra, Violet, and Calvin Pals, require their lives.
When Jesus called his followers, he asked for painful, costly sacrifice. He reminded them that though foxes and birds return each day to their burrows and nests, he had no place to lay his head (Matthew 8:20). He called his disciples to take no change of clothes or spare coin for their ministry (Matthew 10:9–10). And yet he said, “There is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold” both now and in eternity (Mark 10:29–30). God’s economy is not man’s. Jesus calls kids to go with moms and dads to serve the nations because God’s kingdom advancement is for families too, and the risk is worth its reward.
The forward momentum of God’s kingdom does not exclude our children. The garden mandate to be fruitful and multiply now expands spiritually, and we take our kids along. We aren’t disqualified from overseas ministry if we’re changing diapers on the hour. God is the author of life and the genius behind the family design. Our dominion over the earth as image-bearers includes those in our care, even if they look too small to slay dragons.
The risks of going with kids in tow are many; only the rewards of trust and obedience eclipse their reality. If we pursued mere adventure or greater cultural appreciation, we would be the “most to be pitied” (1 Corinthians 15:19). But if God calls us to glory in Christ in dungeon-like places, teaching our children to cup their hands around their mouths and cry to prisoners, “Come out!” then we offer them diamond-quality joy (Isaiah 49:9, 61:1). We weep with our kids over the cost they see and feel in their own lives, helping them gather the broken pieces of their hearts to hand to Jesus, teaching them firsthand that Christ’s flesh and blood satisfy.
Shepherding Your Flock
Before my two oldest children were dunked in the cold mountain water of our village in baptism, they testified to God’s grace in their lives. God had shown them his best at their worst. I flinched inwardly as I heard them recall dangerous accidents and desperate emotions in our time overseas. But when it turned darkest, God shone brightest. If it were up to me, I would have taken an eraser to God’s plan of pain for them. If I had, I would also have unknowingly rubbed out his intimate deliverances. The pleasure of following God to the farthest reaches of the planet with your kids is finding that God is there too.
All that said, our family just moved ministry locations overseas due to prolonged isolation and our kids’ growing need for friends and community. Missions is a family affair and worth the risk, while at the same time, God does not depend on our presence in a place to accomplish his purposes, and he cares specifically for our kids. Our kids’ particular needs are not at odds with our calling but can direct our feet and make us wise shepherds of our flock.
God is not biting his nails on the sidelines of our missionary service, hoping we’ll perform well enough to finally advance his cause. His word is not bound, waiting for our special set of skills to unleash it. Rather, God declares, “My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose” (Isaiah 46:10). We face necessary human limitations, but “our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases” (Psalm 115:3).
So families are wise to pursue the missionary call with discernment, attentive to the health of their marriage and children. Before a family goes, parents might ask themselves if they’re enjoying marriage as God intended, taking care of their bodies, managing stress wisely, or harboring any secret sins. If their family were a garden plot, how’s the soil, and what’s regularly sprouting? If they’re parched and weedy here at home, they won’t suddenly produce rutabagas and roses over there.
Our Kids Need What We Need
Our kids will suffer as our family answers the call. Our kids need what we need. They require biblical direction more than cross-cultural training. We point them to the Lord who never breaks a bruised reed or those walking through culture shock (Isaiah 42:3). We model how to pray and lament to an attentive Father who knows exactly what makes the call thrilling, devastating, paralyzing, or confusing at any given moment. We note how God’s eye is on the sparrow and on us in the throes of uprooting and resettling (Matthew 10:29). When we can’t wipe away our children’s grief like a smear of chocolate on their cheek, we remember their angels are intentionally placed in God’s line of vision (Matthew 18:10).
As parents, our natural inclination is to bubble wrap our kids. We think if we pad them with enough extracurriculars and vitamins, they’ll get an A-plus in life. I would have bought the bubble wrap had God not called us to a land devoid of it. Without the illusions of worldly protection, families called to the globe’s unreached peoples prove God is “a stronghold in times of trouble” (Psalm 9:9). Families participate in the call to “declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples” (Psalm 96:3). As God sustains his declarers, parents and children alike, he gets glory.
Is God calling your family to glow in the world’s darkest places? Go, knowing your kids. Go, knowing your God.